Was watching this old video of Taylor Swift's and she raises such a powerful argument. That a A woman has no right to anger or complaint or she will be called 'mad'. Swift's critique of the idea in her song is unique in both its modernity and its meaningfulness.
Though Swift has been criticized for writing songs about ex-boy friends and being a serial dater, I think the song's message is much stronger then any origin the media digs out, relating it to her personal life. This is simply because it is universal to so many women around the world.
Though Swift has been criticized for writing songs about ex-boy friends and being a serial dater, I think the song's message is much stronger then any origin the media digs out, relating it to her personal life. This is simply because it is universal to so many women around the world.
"The construct of women as “deviant” has a long history. It can be seen in the world’s major religions and spiritual traditions, which often view women as “uncontrollable”. In particular the last two centuries has seen a greater interconnectedness between the concept of femininity and the cultural construction of madness" (c.f link to Tania Wood's research paper on the relation of literature and female insanity)
In the song Swift is 'villainous'- it proves a point. The woman is held responsible for a man's digressions just because she chose him. In the video swift is universally accepted as villainous, when the only villainy on her part is giving a rich man a chance at a relationship. She doesn't sabotage the relationship to get rid of him. She does not cheat. She is willing to give him a chance at 'forever'. But she is the villain nevertheless. It is ironic that he has the right to be unfaithful but she doesn't have the right to even fight about it. In fact trying again and again to find a faithful stable relationship makes her a 'bad girl'.
This is is an issue close to my heart. Just a few months ago one of my friends went through a messy divorce and her cheating lying husband erased all his abuse with one word- she's insane. It does not matter if he cheated, lied, abused her, contributed nothing to the upkeep, cared nothing for his children. None of it matters. But what matters is because she dares protest and 'she is insane', erasing the credibility of her witness and the whole narrative of her victimhood.
Taylor's song depicts a man overwhelmed by her . But a man who was even a tad violent would resort to his fists in the face of such damage. Especially if he is filled with righteous anger- how dare she. He will always make himself out to be the victim even if he hit her back. Remind's me of what Lara Weaver wrote in one of her stories
"As much as the great stories will have you believe, the ‘villain’ of any tale is not just a grotesque, terrifying figure in black, training to be an evil mastermind from the time they were pulling the wings off flies when they were two, utterly devoid of any backstory, any emotions, anything that made them human.Villains, you see, are not so different from us. The same hopes and dreams drive them, the same pain and loss haunts them, the same decisions face them. Indeed, how many ‘bad guys’ truly see themselves as villains? The answer is none. All of us believe we are in the right, that our actions are justified. We may not be ‘good’, but we are certainly right. It is the most terrifying philosophy of all - that a man can commit all sorts of atrocities and yet emerge will a clear conscience, fully believing their actions were necessary. That when the sky is falling around you and the world screams itself into silence, when great cities fall and the oceans swell to the mountains; the one at it’s cause can sit there and look upon the chaos and smile.... None of us are the villains of our own story."
(Of wizards and Heroes- Lara Weaver)
Notice it is only women who are associated with hysteria which is directly linked to a woman's emotion. She is emotional hence she is not rational. Though swift feed's her guy a poisoned apple, we must remember a furious man is just as likely to attempt murder as a furious woman. Infact statistically men are more likely to resort to violence over emotional hurt (as they are in the habit of taking action for resolution) than women who have been conditioned be helpless, not act and shed tears. But a woman who is not helpless is threatening. And the assumption that she is a woman hence her anger = hysteria is a means to take away power from her. Interestingly an angry man is "powerful" . Anger is a natural human reaction yet half the world's population is pushed to repress it which has repercussions.
So all ye guys out there respect a women's anger. Listen when she tells you something and don't think she's nagging because it's that time of the month. Think- she is nagging because you messed up and she expects you to care enough to fix your mistakes. I'll end with my favourite song and analyze it next time. As Beyonce too reiterates- "listen to her". It can not be said enough. Also contrast beyonce's video of a 'normal' woman who has no power to fight back against the blatant hurt she is dished out. She will grieve and mourn and remain silent. Compared to taylor who would take action to get back at him. But an angry woman is 'abnormal' (-do you see how ridiculous the idea is) but an angry man isn't. Perhaps Taylor has the right of it. Perhaps that is how self possessed women should behave rather than suffering in silence. Because I bet men would be more cautious if they expected every woman to bring hell on earth in reaction their digressions.
*Tania Wood's research paper on the relation of hysteria and feminine at http://www.nyu.edu/classes/keefer/EvergreenEnergy/woodst.pdf
* screen shot's from Education Groups for Men Who Batter: The Duluth Model 1st Edition by Ellen Pence
* All rights to songs belong to their respective artists
